On this blog and I am going to share my journey, generally in order of happenings, but I just wanted to say to you, my sister, that if you are in an abusive relationship with a narcissist or are just navigating your way out of one and you feel devoid of all hope. Hang on in there.
There were times when I felt I couldn’t go on, but somehow by the thinnest of threads I managed to. Everybody’s journey will be different. The one thing that all will have in common is what it feels like to have the person who is supposed to love you meter out mental and sometimes physical abuse.
I didn’t realise the extent of the abuse to be honest until I had closed the door on him for good. I did that, in relative terms, quite quickly, we were divorced in a year. Did I get all the finances that were due to me – absolutely not, but I knew the break needed to be quick or his mind games would send me into such a deep black hole that I would not be able to get out. And so I ignored the advice of friends and lawyers and got out.
I told myself: No regrets, no anger, no hatred. Let go with grace.
“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Buddha.
I wanted to move forward, I wanted to see what freedom looked like and I can tell you now that whilst there have been rocky times, freedom tastes much sweeter than a lifetime of mind games.
If tomorrow looks too black then don’t look that far ahead, just keep breathing one second, one minute, one hour at a time.
I Know Why You Stayed 